Note to Self

“Note to Self” is a multimedia work began in 2007 that incorporates performance, video, photography, and installation.

Note To Self: V.O. Script (2007)

It started out so innocently—a tangible dream in the form of a catalog given to me by a trusted acquaintance. Glossy. Seductive. Things to buy. On-line.

I wondered what you’d look like. Or do I mean to say, what I would look like. It wasn’t hard to imagine. Send in three pictures. Check off some boxes. A little me gets sent back.

Cute. Miniature. Funny. Three qualities I really admire in a person.

The box arrived and I didn’t open it for 2 ½ weeks. Seriously. Too much pressure. Would you look like me?! You didn’t. Not at all.

I decided to persevere. There could still be an “us.” Let’s go out. Let’s dress alike. You can be my friend as well as my…

And then the problems came. I found out many people have done this before—this mini-me/doppelganger/twin/child/doll… Who works with a doll, anyways? That is so nineties. I am beginning to get disgusted I became involved in this to begin with… who spends money on a doll that looks like themselves? Who cares? Have a kid instead. It’s free. Sort of. Not really. Actually, not at all. I am off track.

Then the mail started arriving. For you. Or me. I am still confused, but the mail definitely had our name on it. Ponies. Pinafores. Pageants. I love ponies. And the dream to be crowned still exists, even in some backwards stripper/drag-queen kind of way. Wait. I am getting off track again.

I know… you be me and win. Do it for us, baby. Do it for us, baby. Do it for us, baby.

Maybe you can do it for me. Instead of me, you, Jill. Jill. Jill? Are you listening?