What’s Sexy for Summer
“What’s Sexy for Summer” is a 3-page spread created for the project space of the Summer 2010 edition of the contemporary art print quarterly, Art Lies (volume No. 66), “Magma of Stupidity.” It features my cat Vinny (1999 - 2013) who, on the fifth page, models a tiny t-shirt with artist Ivan Lozano’s picture on it.
What’s Sexy for Summer
“In the summer it gets really hot and you can’t think clearly, especially about fashion. What is important to know is that it is not so much about what you wear and do, but how you wear and do it. You should try and be as sexy as possible all the time so that as many people as possible pay attention to you. Because we all know that if people aren’t paying attention to you, life does not have as much meaning. The reason why it is better to have people pay attention to you for being sexy than, say, being loud or talented is because that means that someone wants you. And someone wanting to possess you is an extremely important factor in leading a successful life. Some people worry about how to be sexy, and it is true, some people are better at being sexy than others. The best way around this is to make a conscious decision every day of your life that you will make things as sexy as possible at all times. Suddenly, things you took for granted, like spatulas or filing paperwork can become opportunities for sexiness. The next question is: are you being sexy enough? If your eyes are half closed and little cooing sounds are coming out of your mouth, you are on the right track. Other things you can try are: pouting, pointing (slowly), and laying down a lot. If people give you a hard time about being sexy all the time, just remember that they are just jealous. Have they not watched television recently, duh? And even though you are irritated, remember to be irritated in a sexy way (like in the movies when someone is angry and they’re saying, “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” but then they start saying it slower and then all of a sudden they are kissing the person they were originally irritated with). Like, right now... are you reading this to yourself in a sexy voice? Because you should be. Just keep trying hard, have fun, and above all, remember, Be Sexy. All the time. It’s the only thing in life that’s important.”
